This portrait is for my son Pablo, who turns eight today, and thinks this is a very funny idea indeed.
When I started drawing this plaything, I soon realised this was one of those deceptively simple objects that in fact take a very long time to draw. The lines came out a little lopsided, the hay (if that is what this is) was hard to draw with limited time, and cardboard was certainly a new kind of surface to tackle—not to mention the unforgiving fonts! But I greatly enjoyed looking at different textures and relished the chance to draw something so contemporary in feel.
In 1975 an advertising man called Gary Dahl came up with a little packaged joke: a pet rock (you can read more about the origins, and about Dahl himself in this article). The rock came in a little cardboard box on some bedding, with a manual entitled ‘The care and training of your pet rock’. Each box was sold for $3.95 dollars, and in about 6 months he had sold 1.5 million of them. It was a dream marketing concept, though the fad did not last for much longer than that. I noted that Dahl would eventually go on to write the book ‘Advertising for Dummies’.
When I first saw it, my first thought was that it was a recent creation – the design fits in perfectly with a retro eco-friendly aesthetic that is fairly ubiquitous today, and the sort of one-liner idea it embodied felt quite contemporary. However, the more I thought about it, the more I realised that it is a rather interesting object and is a great deal cleverer than most fads.
I suppose one object that immediately sprang to mind was Duchamp’s urinal (or is it Elsa von Freytag-Loringhoven’s urinal?), but my mind also went to Tamagotchis (digital pets), as well as shoebox-homes for caterpillars.
I also recalled recent instances of my children begging for pets and accepting almost anything as candidates. On more than one occasion they carefully placed ants into a cardboard box into which they had cut holes ‘to let them breathe’, only to be terribly disappointed to find out that the ants were no longer there 10 minutes later. Another time, they found some old snail shells and convinced themselves that they were alive, putting them in yet another cardboard box with some leaves for food. Occasionally they would look into the box, where the shells lay completely immobile and sand-filled, and swear excitedly that they had moved a couple of centimetres since the morning.
Stones and rocks are the exact opposite of something living, which is also why it is so funny and appealing to engage with them as ‘pets’. The Pet Rock cleverly plays with the idea of pretend play in childhood, and goes all the way, formalising one’s commitment to it, and literally putting it in writing.
In fact, one might say the main product is the manual that comes with the rock – it is rather funny and had my son in fits of giggles. Based on training manuals for dogs, Dahl included tips on helping your pet rock acclimatise:
“Your new rock is a very sensitive pet and may be slightly traumatized from all the handling and shipping required in bringing the two of you together. While you may look in on your new pet from time to time, it is essential that you leave your rock in its box for a few days. It is advised that you set the box in an area of your home that is to become your PET ROCK'S "special place".
Some PET ROCK owners have found that the ticking of an alarm clock placed near the box has a soothing effect; especially at night. It takes most PET ROCKS exactly three days to acclimate themselves to their new surroundings. After seventy-two hours have passed you may remove the rock from its box and begin enjoying your new pet.
NOTE: If, when you remove the rock from its box it appears to be excited, place it on some old newspapers. The rock will know what the paper is for and will require no further instruction. It will remain on the paper until you remove it.”
Dahl also included advice on teaching them to obey commands and do tricks:
Roll Over.
Your PET ROCK will learn this trick the very first time you give it a lesson. That statement may be hard to believe but it is, nevertheless, quite true. The best place to teach your PET ROCK to ROLL OVER is on the side of a hill. Place your rock on the ground at the top of a hill and give the command, ROLL OVER. Now, let go of your rock. It's that simple!
Play Dead.
Your PET ROCK will take to this trick like a duck takes to water. It is one of the most entertaining tricks a rock can learn, and a trick that is sure to get many affectionate laughs and approving glances from you and your friends.
The Pet Rock also made me think of William Steig’s Sylvester and the Magic Pebble, where the donkey Sylvester gets turned into a big stone and is trapped for a long time in this form, while his parents lament his loss. Turned into a stone! What a perfectly claustrophobic idea, to be alive without being able to communicate this fact…
Gimmicks aside, isn’t this a clever way of materialising what we do when we pretend play, rocks or no rocks? I thought of dolls made out of stones, and Russel Hoban’s ‘The Stone Doll of Sister Brute’, in which Sister Brute, having nothing to love, asks for a doll. Instead of a doll, she gets a stone, but she makes the most of it, drawing a face on it and dressing it.
If you had a Pet Rock, would you not laugh affectionately as it played dead? You’d be hard pressed to find a more consistent companion.